Shads of Grey
by millie-mione
Summary: Details love,fear,self-loathing, and loss in Severus Snape's life days before Lord Voldemort falls at Harry's hand. This includes some SnapeHardbroom. Characters aren't mine.


" Damn it, Constance! You don't have time to stand here arguing, just take Darius and Appollonia and go!" Severus shouted. He wanted his wife and kids to get going before the other Death Eaters arrived.

Months before, Constance had decided to take up with the resistance movement against Lord Voldemort and his Knights of Walpurgis.

Much to his chagrin, he found himself forced to respect the fact that Constance had, through her abusive upbringing, developed a clear-cut sense of right and wrong; whereas, through his, he simply learned that opportunity lay in one's ability to reach out and take it. Simply put, those who knew how to seize luck and power were strong, while those who let it slip through their fingers were weak. He ruefully realized that it was this very sick and twisted distortion of reality that had landed him in the lap of Lord Voldemort.

He watched her mouth the words 'very well' and then shimmer out of sight hoisting their little twins in tow.

He wished that he'd had just one final second to reach out and feel Constance's warmth for the last time, but he knew that she had to go. Severus let a tear of regret fall and promised himself that he would see his wife and kids again.

His reverie broke when a knock came at the kitchen window. It was his Regulus. He gestured to the bag that he held in his hand to let his friend know that he'd brought along the necessary to help him stage the tragedy they planned.

Severus waved and Regulus came in with the bag.

" Aren't these elf skeletons perfect? No one will be the wiser," Regulus said smiling appreciatively at his handiwork as he opened the bag to show its contents to Severus." When you told me what the dark lord meant for you to do to cousin Constance, I couldn't let you worry about what to do alone."

" Thank you, Regulus," Severus said as he began to cry.

" I know, old man. I'll miss her too, but until this blows over, we have to keep our cool."

" You're quite right. Let's get to work. Did you put your mother's body in in the bed upstairs?"

"Yeah, just before I came in. I came back outside; because, I didn't want to alert you by creeping down your stairs," Regulus said raising his wand to gesture as he spoke.

They rushed up the stairs, placed the elf bones into the children's cribs, and set the house ablaze. Severus tried to assure himself that he was doing the right thing as he stood still and watched his childhood home succumb to the jaws of arson.

Four hours later, Severus screamed loudly to alert passeresby just as he and Regulus had planned. People appeared from all over and began speaking panickedly about what they saw.

" How horrible. You poor man," an old woman said approaching to comfort Severus. " I can't think of anyone who would do such a thing. You know, I'll bet it was..."

" Dorothea, don't. Just don't say it. This poor man's got enough trouble without anybody causing more," an old man said. He appeared to have been her brother, given that they both shared somewhat similar features.

" All right, Charles. I won't. I'm sorry, lad," she said patting his arm and then turning to leave as authorities pushed their way through the crowd of onlookers.

Severus went through the motions and Regulus offered his support. Investigative proceedings went through and the funerals were held three days later.

Severus stood before the freshly dug holes and stared blankly until he felt someone slap his face hard.

" You bastard!"

It was a feral looking Andromeda.

" She died because of you! I told her that she was making a mistake. I said, 'his bitterness and hatred for life will choke you to death,' but did she listen? No. All she did was love you blindly! Well, I want you to know that I don't! I see you for what you really are!"

" Shut up, Andromeda!" he shouted in response before raising his hand to strike her.

" Yes, that's right! Show everybody what you really are. Did you hit her too?"

" All right, 'Romi. That's enough," her husband said calmly as he gently led her away from the burial site.

" I have to go," Regulus leaned in and whispered, " the master wishes to see me."

" I understand," Severus said.

He let the day pass and then went to bed at his mother's old house. Early the next morning before sunup, Severus felt something tickle his nose. He awoke to find Bellatrix standing above him holding a knife.

" You know, it wasn't nice to try and fool the master like you did," she said tracing the tip of the knife above him with her finger until it bled slightly.

" If you..." he started before she placed her hand over his mouth.

" Shut it, and listen! I kept your name out of it, and I let Regulus take the fall," she said. " Call me sentimental, but I couldn't bring myself to turn you in. You see. I fondly recalled the way that you used to follow me about drawing pictures of me. I can't ever begin to tell you just how much I used to love getting that kind of attention. To the world, I was merely a breeding horse destined to marry within my caste; however, to you, I was a dark angel, a primeval goddess newly arisen from the abyss. You saw my soul, and you still do, even you did marry Constance. I know this; because, I still see that a part of me with you when I stare into your eyes. This is why I've spared your life. Now, all I ask in return is that you apply the same admiration to the master. Constance may have amused you for a time, but she could never appease that deep and very dark part of you that fuels your soul. Understand me, Severus when I say that we are both creatures of darkness who can never escape our pasts. I know this, you know thais, and most importantly, Lord Voldrmort knows this."

'Was she crazy?' Severus thought as he continued to hear (not listen to) her melodram-aticly romanticized rant. Yes. He did have a crush on her, but that was due partly to the fact that she was unapproachable. That changed the day that Constance came in from Bristol after her parents died; he felt something stir in his soul. This feeling grew after simply talking to Constance for the first few hours that followed their introduction. After experiencing the inner light that Constance radiated, his feelings (if you could call them that) for Bellatrix wore just as thin, if not thinner than the paper on which he used to sketch her likeness. Constance was that beacon of hope that would allow him to escape his painful past. Through her encouragement and help, he began to see that heroes and good men rose from tragic histories just as they did from backgrounds that were fortuitous. He wanted to be the man she knew he could be, but he also felt his mother's sway. She wanted him to follow in his father's dark footsteps, and damn him. Like a fool, he gave in. Thank Merlin that Constance refused to give up on him.

" Do you agree to my proposal?" she asked, breaking his moment of introspection.

He nodded.

" Good boy. I'd have had to kill you myself if you'd have refused. I couldn't bear to see you done in as badly as Regulus was last night. Oh, that's right; I didn't tell you, did I? They tortured him for four hours and then the dark lord sealed his breathing orifices before burying him alive."

"Dear Merlin!" Severus said.

" Yes. Now that we understand each other, I expect you to accompany Lucius and me over to the Bones place. It appears that we have a little problem with morale in their neck of the woods."

" I see. What time/" he asked.

" Seven, and get a bath. You smell like last week's refuse," she remarked. " Ciao."

"Bye," he said. He thought of a way to get out of it, but he didn't wish to chance anything, now that Regulus was gone. Poor Regulus; he was the perfect friend and confidante. Who else would Severus turn to now that he was gone?

A knock sounded at the door. Severus got up to answer it and saw Professor MacGonagall standing behind it.

" Greetings, Severus."

" Good morning, Minerva," he said. " To what do I owe the pleasure?"

" Skip the formalities. I'm here because, Constance wrote me. She wanted us to help you get out of the Death Eater circle, claiming that you were sincere and had every intention of changing. I, however, know that you don't. Still, though, I loved her like a daughter, so I'll oblige her this favor. Dumbledore wants you to meet us at 'The Three Broomsticks' this evening at seven."

" I can't. Bellatrix wants to see me at that time. She and Lucius are planning to do the Bones family."

" Well, we'll make it four-thirty, but be there. Meanwhile, thanks for the tip," she said." That family's suffered a loss already. They could do without another any time soon."

Severus nodded and then watched her leave.

He sipped tea and watched the hour draw near to four-thirty before he tended to his appearance set out for 'The Three Broomsticks.'

No sooner had he sat down at the table to begin perusing the menu, than did a man attack him. He drew his wand and then muttered an unforgiveable curse. Pretty soon, aurors swooped about him and brought him to the minicipal prison down town.

He spent two hours in the holding cell before Minerva and Pprofessor Dumbledore appeared.

" They'll kill me if I stay here. You have to get me out!" Severus begged.

" No. You're safer here," Dumbledore said. " No one will dare risk a kill with you being behind bars. It would draw too much unnecessary attention."

" You put me here," Severus concluded after spying a glint of mischief in Dumbledore's eye.

" Yes. I did. I knew that you'd be safe here," he said.

" What? Safe? Once he learns of my stupidity, the dark lord will have someone here to kill me within the hour," Severus barked. He could almost hear his heart racing from the panic surging through his body.

" Perhaps so, but I have reason to trust that he's more concerned with finding the Potters than he is with killing you."

Yes, of course, the bloody Potters; it was always the Potters. Even in the face of despair, Potter outweighed him in the order of importance. His mind told him to be quiet and rest assured that Dumbledore was right about Lord Voldemort. Through Constance's many praises of him, he learned that the old man was usually right about most things.

" I'll trust you, but if he kills me, it'll be on your head," Severus said

" I know," Dumbledore said before leaving wth Minerva.

Severus sat in his cell and decided to fall asleep. What was the use of sitting up just to waste time contemplating his pain and torment? He set his bed up and lay down to get some rest.

He woke from his nap in the wee hours of the morning and heard people celebrating outside in the street.

A loud cracking noise made Severus jump as he turned and saw a guard shoot a wand spark at the bars in front of his cell.

The fat slob began laughing mischievously at him, and cheeked," not so big now, are 'ya, now that a wee baby's taken down your dark majesty."

" What? What do you mean 'a wee baby'?" Severus asked.

" Little Harry Potter. They say your master went in to blast the killin' curse at him, and the baby gave 'im what for. Blown to smithereens he was."

Severus couldn't believe it. Dumbledore was right. It was over now. He felt his heart leap for joy and laid back down on his bed seeming determined to ignore the other taunts the guard souped up to dish his way. Once again he had Potter to thank. First it was for keeping the werewolf off him. Now he could thank him for creating a safe avenue for him to see Constance and his children again. He stared at the stars outside in the dark sky and envisioned Constance lying next to his sleeping twins as they nuzzled under her for warmth and protection.

He decided to lay his bitterness aside and to proceed into the future, whether it offered him death, life in prison, or poverty resulting from dishonor. Unbeknownst to Severus, his tune would change ten years down the road when he came face to face with the exact likeness of his former tormentor turned saviour.


End file.
